Power Struggle

Photo by Wilfred Paulse

"Your choice has bearing on every event that occurs in your life, even those it seems you did not consciously motivate.”

- Marve Atchison, White Daughter

There's an article circulating on Facebook right now about a kid named Brian Hoeflinger, an 18 year old who had graduated high school in Toledo in 2013. He was out with friends partying after graduation, decided to drive home intoxicated, and got into an accident that, unfortunately, took his life. His family has since created an organization called "Brian Matters". It was established to teach kids the dangers of drunk driving. This particular story struck a chord with me because it reminds me of an analogy I use in my novel White Daughter to explain how negative events create positive consequences. In the book, I recount the story of a little girl who is hit and killed by a drunk driver. Rather than persecute the man who killed her, the mother of the child decides to institute an organization to help alcoholics get clean, demonstrating that profound results can emerge from dire circumstances. Although the details differ slightly here, the thing I like most about Brian's story is that his parents have chosen to focus on the fact that his death resulted from choice. They do not shy away from this truth, which is something that really resonates with me. In retrospect, death always arrives from choice. We might one day choose to walk across the street at the exact moment a person runs a red-light, ending up in a collision that ultimately leads to our demise.

Yah, I heard your thunderous, "Wait a freakin' minute!"

That person broke the law so they're the one to blame" Right? Let's take a quick moment to look at the situation from the opposite end of the spectrum. Would the driver have hit us if we didn't choose to step into the road at that precise moment? Life is a two-way street (pun intended). We can't separate from our choices just because the consequences are less than desirable. When we look to blame someone else for something "bad" happening in our lives, we give up the powerful choices we make to bring ourselves into contact with said "bad" stuff.  

You be thinking, "Um, isn't that a good thing?"

I be thinking, "Why the HELL would you want to give up your power?"

Trust me, I get that when there are a bunch of negative vibes floating around like cracked out Ninja bees the last thing you want to do is revel in the power that unleashed the wack-ass hive. But dude...that power is amazing! If you pull contrast into your space it's not a bad thing, even if it masquerades as such. It's actually an energetic step stool and you can use it to pull yourself up to a higher level of consciousness (that be a fancy word for understandin'). With Brian Hoeflinger we see that his death (a pretty sad and disheartening event) contributed to a pretty major cause. I know a couple of other dudes like that in history (ahem...Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King, etc.).

Yes, I DO couple ol' Hoeflinger with those amazing, sage-like Avatars because, well, that's exactly what he's become. His death forged a legacy, and legacy is a trumped up word for movement. This is exactly what Christ and Luther King and even Don King did. In fact, every single one of us does it, because we matter. We impact friends, family, and even enemies. We leave a mark on their lives, we teach them, we inspire them, and whether they know it or not, that inspiration is present in every act from initial impact on. We create movement in others, and that movement does not end when we do. When we speak our truth, who we are resonates through our relationships, and that makes us freakin' immortal.

So think twice about shirking your role in negative events. Don't bite the apple and blame the serpent (an animal that, consequently, represents renewal and rebirth). Stake your claim. Own your chizz. Learn. Understand. Grow. These are not difficult things to accomplish. They are natural, but they tend to struggle against currents of fear. Not so much the fear of owning up to quote-on-quote mistakes, but the fear of owning your power. It's easy to cut and run, but to stand up and take credit for every single move you make? That's some gospel-level legitimacy.

Photo by Daniel

Revel in Emotion

(or, should I say, Reveal in Emotion)

Emotions are like a set of keys.  When we allow ourselves to feel them, we unlock a hidden part of ourselves.  It is in this hidden world that we make discoveries about who we are and what we are capable of.  If we do not allow ourselves to experience emotions connected with particular events, we short change our choices. We short change our will. Consequences impact our lives in specific ways. If we hide from them, we don't learn anything, and learning is precisely why we make choices in the first place. If you think about it, making a decision and then running from the consequence is like going to a kick-ass restaurant, ordering the best thing on the menu, and chucking the meal when it arrives. 

  

Doesn't make much sense...  

It's important to feel our emotions. They reveal limitations and help us to overcome them. They also help us develop into stellar humans because they teach us to empathize with others. When we are fully in touch with our emotional side, we are better able to connect with people. In fact, emotion is really the only way to truly plug into our fellow human beings. We can understand each other better through feeling, because it is an ability we all share. Perspective is often times difficult to glimpse because thoughts are linear and forge barriers, but when we view someone through the eyes of emotion, we are treated to a vista of beauty and understanding. Emotions color the world and show us that things are not solely black and white, but a variable rainbow of soft and vibrant hues. 

Emotions make life matter.