Little Miss Alignment

I’m sure some of you are familiar with the Mr. Men and Little Miss characters created by Roger Hargreaves. They are fabulous books that teach kids about the many different personality traits that run through the human race. My daughter has several of the books, as well as a few hard plastic and soft plush dolls. Her favorite characters are Mr. Bump and Little Miss Daredevil.

My favorite character is Little Miss Alignment.  She's a great--

Wait... You've never heard of her?

Well, I guess I can understand that, because she's not really a Little Miss character, at least not one created by Hargreaves. Little Miss Alignment is the side of humanity that governs balance and symmetry. She is the voice of truth, that soft whisper that gently reminds us to listen to our gut and clear our heads. 

Alignment is a big deal in old and new age ideologies. In the Hindu faith, it is believed that there are seven chakras that align the spinal corridor. These portals, or "wheels of light", govern certain aspects of humanity, including: existence, emotion, sexuality, creativity, diligence, action, love, compassion, expression, humility, sight, logic, justice, knowing, and wisdom. When the chakras are open and fully aligned, a person experiences spiritual ascension. New Agers also embrace this idea. They believe that when a person is working in line with the chakras, they are open to the Universe. It's a pretty cool premise, but like all belief systems, it has become the victim of dangerous interpretations. 

This is going to turn into one of those rants, but I promise not to get all cranky and crusty and start handing out insults. This particular rant is directed at some of the - pardon my French - utter bullshit I've heard as of late, particularly where it concerns emotion. Specifically, I've heard the term "negative emotion" tossed around a lot. To be honest, I'm not really familiar with that kind of terminology because, to me, the words emotion and negativity thrust together create a paradox, or as Dr. Emmett Brown would put it, "Seriously screw with the Space Time Continuum". See, emotion is never negative. Emotion is the vehicle through which we release pressure. Thought can be "negative", but emotion? Hell no. Like a fresh and flowing spring, emotions are pure and unfiltered. They express exactly how we feel at a particular moment. If we feel angry or sad or even depressed, we have every right to feel that way. It is not negative. It is an indicator of something deep within. If we simply paid attention to our emotions and allowed them to express themselves more freely, we wouldn't deal with explosive emotion later on, which is precisely how the concept of "negative emotion" has emerged. 

Is it really emotion that causes the issue? 

Or does thought have more to do with it?

Feelings truly are like water. If you do not allow them to flow, they will either drown you or erupt like a geyser. I do not believe that this is the fault of emotion, however. It is how we think that creates barriers. When we believe that emotion is negative and attempt to squish it like a bug, we inadvertently forge a dam. We hold our emotions hostage, treating them like red-headed stepchildren or black sheep because we believe them to be the root cause of our issues. Thought is the true downpresser. It casts shadows over emotion and often controls how that emotion is released. So it would seem that, emotions are not the problem. They are merely symptomatic. Like a cough, emotions tip us off to the fact that we are ailing. 

This is when Little Miss Alignment would say, 

"True balance is allowing ourselves to be who we are, and much of who we are boils down to how we feel. Thought and emotion go hand in hand. One cannot overcome the other. They must be equal partners, with equal rights and responsibilities."  

This is an important lesson. Emotion can certainly be a pushy little punk at times, so it's important to remember that thought does have to maintain boundaries. Remember the movie Ghostbusters? Well, consider thought the Gate Keeper. It controls when Zuul is released, the amount of Zuul released, and how Zuul is released (if you're confused, just sub the word "emotion" for Zuul). 

     

BA - BUMPA - BA - BA- BA- BA- BA!

Example Time!

It be example time! I have a perfect story about all this emotional junk. Over the past few months my husband and I have been trying to sell our home so we can downsize, start traveling, yada, yada, yada... We lucked out and found a fantastic house smaller than ours, with every single thing that we wanted. We made an offer contingent upon our house selling and the owner accepted. Everything seemed to be falling into place. We listed our house (which everyone was convinced would sell in a week), we got free moving boxes, flyers for moving companies were coming in by the pant load - every single thing pointed to success. We were going to get exactly what we desired! 

Fast forward three months and we are still waiting for our house to sell. From the outset, this looks like failure, but to a person with a critical eye (meaning, someone who can look past a situation's outer layer into the dark, dirty core), this is simply a turn of the cog. The ultimate goal here was to change our lifestyle, and while everything fell into place with this particular home, there is a possibility that we deserve more than it could ultimately give us. There's a very good chance that we're thinking too small. While it "looks" like this place can provide what we've asked for, in the end, it may not support our desire to travel and pursue other dreams. It was still pretty big (2,000 square feet) and the yard was massive (nearly an acre), so while the bells and whistles are super awesome, the upkeep is another story. We DO want a project, because we are artists at heart, but maintaining such a big place could get in the way of our other dreams, and those are the dreams we are looking to manifest. Finding and losing the house isn't failure, it is a part of a discovery process, a process focused on finding a home that will support every facet of our goals.

So what does all of this have to do with the emotional thing? Welp, I've heard a lot of the same stuff over these past few months:

Have faith.

Don't think negatively, it will create the opposite of what you want!

You have to clear out low vibration feelings and pull in that higher vibration if you want to manifest your desires.

You are getting in your own way! 

Feeling like that will only bring you down...

This particular situation has been beyond frustrating, and while I've made some pretty good realizations about the other house, they didn't occur until I stopped listening to all the hogwash other people continued to throw at me. Don't get me wrong, it's great that friends and family want to help me feel better and try to inspire me to do so by being positive, but every time someone told me to ignore my frustration because it would only "get in the way", somehow it made me feel ten times worse, like being discouraged was wrong. 

Being discouraged is NOT wrong.

Discouragement, frustration, aggravation...these emotions are productive because they serve as a conduit for awareness. They show us how much we care about something, how much we want it, and tip us off to the fact that we are ready and raring to go. They help us acknowledge that we have much to offer. That is a fantastic thing! Yet, often times we try to quash these feelings because they are classified as "low energy" or "unproductive". For us, feeling discouraged was (and is) totally warranted. We have had a ton of showings at our house and every time someone didn't make an offer, it felt like a knife to the gut. What was wrong with our place? It's totally updated, it's energy efficient, it has the cutest little pocket office, nice upgrades, gorgeous landscaping... What the HELL is going on here? 

Whenever we expressed these thoughts, other people would do one of two things:

1) Be absurdly chipper and try to get us to look at the situation more positively; or

2) Be absurdly negative and point out all the reasons why other people might not want the house. 

It would have been nice to have someone hold my hand and grieve with me. It would have been nice to hear someone say, "You know what, dude? You have every right to feel this way." But it was always, "Stay positive!" or "Keep the faith!" How is feeling frustrated or uncertain a lack of faith? Can we even be fully aware of our faith if we don't allow ourselves to experience emotional feedback when it is challenged? As I recall, a certain individual named Jesus dealt with this very issue in the Garden of Gethsemane. He was discouraged, and given the circumstances, had every right to be. Knowing that you have to give up what you think is end game can be scary, but ultimately, if you surrender to emotion, you will experience ascended awareness and recognize that the proverbial Brass Ring is nothing but a rusty iron hoop. 

Frustration is grief dressed up as a Super Villain. It comes when things aren't going our way. If we allow ourselves to feel frustration, as opposed to quashing it, we can release it and move on. Often times, this helps us find newer, more healthy ways to approach a situation. But if we ignore frustration, if we bury it and proclaim it as "base" or unproductive, we don't really get rid of it. We conceal the problem, and it lingers within, like a cancerous goiter primed for explosion. 

And explode it will. The smallest thing could set a person off and all of that nasty, pent-up frustration will come pouring out, likely pummeling some unsuspecting person (or sponge).

So getting back to Little Miss Alignment... 

I do not believe that misalignment emerges from "negative" emotion. It emerges from believing emotion is negative. Our feelings are like mortars - they ignite our thoughts and inspire action.  Grief, fury, and shame help us understand the true breadth of life. They show us how powerful we are, for pain forges grooves that joy could never whittle, and fury cuts down oppression in ways that contentment could not possibly fathom. To be misaligned is to believe that feeling "bad" or "negative" or even "toxic" is wrong. How you feel is never wrong. Emotion is the most authentic part of our existence. It never lies. Trying to quash that feeling is exactly why it keeps coming back around. Emotions are meant to be felt. If you brush them off under the guise of "realignment", you work from fabrication. Sadness teaches us to be compassionate. It teaches us to recognize when others are unhappy and to help them move through their pain. Emotions are barometric, they are beacons that help us become aware of narrow thought patterns. When we listen to them, we can recognize that a particular thought process is making us feel off. We cannot create change without emotion. They move us, stir our senses, and incite us to action.

Embrace your feelings.